Detecting Prejudiced People By What They Say
50 Examples:
Here are some of the things agency heads, staff
members, even priests and ministers, have said -- dead giveaways of their
prejudice.
A. The Runaround
1. Getting rid of you by sending you to another (any other) department,
church or agency.
2. "You need to think this through more thoroughly and get back to
me."
B. Wasting Your Time
1. Making you re-explain what you've already thoroughly explained and then
limiting the length of the interview.
2. Quibbling about minor points.
3. Asking for a personal reference, getting it, then saying, "But I
really wanted. . ." (a job or other kind of reference).
C. "We're So Busy"
1. We already do enough to help the mentally ill (as if there were some
limit).
2. If we let you get up and talk/make an announcement, we'd have to let
everybody do it.
D. Blurring the Issue
Vague statements like, "Yes, I do think we should have discussions about
mental health" (a phrase that could refer to a lot of things)
E. Leading You Astray
1. Maybe you want to give a lecture instead of facilitating a discussion
group.
2. Maybe we want to explain the mental health resources in the community
rather than talking about prejudice.
F. Attempts To Pigeonhole You (as one of
"those mentally ill people") And Forget You
1. Have you ever been in the psychiatric center?
2. Do you live near the psychiatric center?
3. What medications are you taking?
4. Don't you think you're being a little too emotional?
5. Why do you want to help mentally ill people SO badly?
6. We study the Bible, not manic depressives.
7. Our counselor's name is _______. You need to see her.
8. Or, more subtly, he or she just doesn't answer your phone messages,
forcing you to try to reach them over and over. Then, one day, they
pounce: "You're too intense; you call me too much. You should
have given me more time to consider your request." This ploy tries to
place the blame for their rejection on your alleged lack of social skills and
self control.
G. Basic Discouragement
1. If you hold your discussion group at our church, only a few people will
attend.
2. If you hold your discussion group at our church, all you'll get is old
people.
H. Just Plain Dumb Things To Say
1. The OTHER priests said no to you too, didn't they?
2. We won't invite you to do this work in our church because you've never
done this before. Would YOU work with an inexperienced person?
3. (After seeing my business card, which arranges my skills in two
columns) Are you a split personality?
4. We treat psychiatric outpatients very well. We don't need to
raise our awareness. (You mean that some of your best friends are mentally
ill?)
5. We have a lot of "compassion" for the mentally ill.
6. We need to get to know you better before we can work with you.
7. The message you're giving me is in the Bible and we know it already.
I. Lies
1. I'll think about it.
2. I may have told you I'd get back to you, but I didn't PROMISE.
3. Our schedule is busy for the next six months.
4. Mr. _______ isn't in right now.
5. No one is allowed to visit residents in their rooms.
6. We need six months to do an investigation. (Of what?)
7. The boss isn't here and the rest of us can't help you.
8. But you don't NEED to advertise in our newsletter. Word of
mouth is the best advertising.
J. Putdowns
1. You came on to me too fast -- like a salesman.
2. (Out of the blue) There's a self-esteem-raising class forming.
You need to take it.
3. Why don't you write down your ideas? (After making me spend 15 minutes
detailing cold facts, not ideas.)
4. You're not listening to me.
5. Try to be clear about what is upsetting you.
6. (After the priest has clearly and finally turned me down, he smiles in
a patronizing way and says) If God wants this to happen, it will happen.
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